Maid of Honor Advice
Maid of Honor Responsibilities
So you've agreed to be maid of honor for your sister, cousin, or close friend. Here's what you need to know about your role. The following are the maid of honor's primary duties.
Moral Support for the Bride
Whatever else you do, this is your number one priority. Whether or not you end up with a bridezilla on your hands, the bride asked you to be her maid of honor because she trusts you and loves you. Be there for her. And if she turns into a bridezilla, a gentle word from you may be all she needs to chill out and take a breath.
The Maid of Honor Speech or Toast
While this is traditionally the domain of the best man, many modern brides request that the maid of honor say a few words at the wedding. The key thing to remember about the speech is to focus on the bride as well as the couple, and to avoid using private jokes only a few people will understand. Check out the section on maid of honor speeches to learn more. One final thing to keep in mind is that the bride does not expect you to be a professional speaker. Just use a bit of humor and speak from your heart.
Planning the Bridal Shower
While the bridal shower does fall under the maid of honor's domain, don't forget to ask the other bridesmaids and/or the bride's mother (and possibly the groom's mother) to assist you. There are many ways to present a bridal shower, from a luncheon to a dessert buffet, with locations ranging from the maid of honor's house to a local restaurant or function hall.
Planning the Bachelorette Party
While similar to planning the bridal shower, the maid of honor should probably avoid asking the mother of the bride for help on this one! While many people choose to keep the bachelorette party a secret from the bride, I highly recommend at least letting her know when it is so that she can plan accordingly. A surprise might = more bride stress, which probably = more maid of honor stress!
Planning the Wedding
Okay, so it's theoretically the bride who plans the wedding, but it may not feel like that sometimes! It's not the maid of honor's responsibility to plan the wedding, but you should be there to help the bride plan. She'll most likely want your opinion as her trusted girl advisor on everything from her all-important wedding dress to your all-important bridesmaid dress (and believe me, you want to be there to give your advice on this one!).
Wedding Day Organization
Besides moral support, the bride will need her maid of honor (and all the bridesmaids) to help her stay organized on the day of the wedding. You should, for one thing, make sure the groom doesn't accidentally see the bride before the ceremony. In addition, help make sure she has everything she needs, from her bouquet to her necklace, and that she looks fabulous! And, coming from a former bride and maid of honor, please insure that the bride EATS before her wedding. That way she doesn't faint, is less crabby, and her stomach doesn't make funny, hungry noises during the ceremony!
While this may seem like an amazing amount of responsibility for one poor maid of honor, keep in mind that the other bridesmaids should be sharing the load. Furthermore, being a successful maid of honor and helping your close friend or sister realize her vision of a perfect wedding is more worth it than words can describe. And remember, next time she'll be the one taking care of everything for you!