Asking too much of a maid of honor

Maid of Honor Advice

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Maid of Honor Speech

How much is too much for a Bride to ask of her Maid of Honor?

How much can the bride ask of her maid of honor?

Being a maid of honor for your close friend is tons of fun and tons of work! There's a bridesmaid dress to buy and alter, a bridal shower and bachelorette party to plan, possibly a speech to write, and an entire wedding to help the bride plan. Accepting the role of maid of honor comes with some big responsibilities, but it's all well worth it to be there for your best bud during her wedding experience.

While you should carry out your duties without complaint, there's a point past which you're dealing with that scary, selfish wedding phenomenon, the bridezilla. But, assuming you've never been a maid of honor before, how do you know how much is too much? Read on, my honorable maids, for some hints.

  • If the bride is asking you to pay much more than two or three hundred dollars for the bridesmaid dress, that's pushing the limits. Now maybe she fell in love with a certain unfortunately expensive dress, but in that case the bride should offer to subsidize the dress to defer some of the cost to you. It is completely reasonable and normal for the maid of honor to pay for her own alterations, shoes, and other accessories.

  • Have you spent the last five weekends looking at wedding venues, tasting cakes, and trying on bridesmaid dresses? If your significant other and/or non-engaged friends are complaining that they never see you anymore, you may have to rein the bride in a bit. Just because the wedding is taking over the bride's life, it shouldn't eclipse that of the maid of honor!

  • Does the bride get mad and yell at you if the florist can't find the right shade of lilac purple or if the DJ doesn't have the song she wants? The maid of honor is supposed to be supportive, but not a verbal punching bag. The bride is under a lot of stress, but you're one of the good guys!

  • Has the bride suggested that you finance a bachelorette party trip to the Riviera? Does she not respect your lack of funds? A bachelorette party and bridal shower do not need to be extremely costly affairs to be successful. If the bride wants something beyond the maid of honor's budget, she has to be willing to help pay for it.